


Tomoko's Thicc Thotventure

by basicbaka, UROPHILE



Category: Dance Moms RPF, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Blood, Cannibalism, Diapers, Drugs, F/F, Hand Kink, I think you get the idea this is terrible, Mom Love, Pubic Hair, Snot, Teeth, Yoga pants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicbaka/pseuds/basicbaka, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UROPHILE/pseuds/UROPHILE
Summary: Tomoko finds love in an unexpected place.





	

Tomoko yawned as she made her way down the stairs, her footsteps muffled by the trademarked Hungry Hungry Hippos slippers she was wearing. They were her pride and joy and she never went anywhere without them. She had slept much later than she had planned, but she didn’t feel bad as it was The Weeknd™, and she Earned It after hearing her son’s hollers at the television In The Night. She walked to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, basking in the peace of this quiet morning. The sun tickled her skin gently, and she Can’t Feel Her Face, but she loves it. 

That peace didn’t last very long, though. It wasn’t long before she heard excited shouts coming from her living room. Tomoko huffily set down her cup of coffee and went to check what her son was up to.

“Fucking Christ I hate that kid,” She muttered under her breath as she walked straight through the wall and into her living room, leaving a Tomoko shaped hole.

Surprisingly enough, the source of the noise wasn’t her son. He was busy playing Pong, because it’s like 1974 I think, his eye practically glued to the screen. His other eye was watching the window in case the ice cream man passed by. No, the source of the noise was Okuyasu, who was yelling in order to get Josuke’s attention as he frantically waved a newspaper in his hand, occasionally turning around and giving himself a little spanky spank with it. Okuyasu had been spending so much time at the Higashikata household that Tomoko had started the process of legally adopting him or else she’d be charged with harboring a runaway, so she accepted him as another son. 

“JOSUKE!” Tomoko exclaimed as she suplexed her son and slammed his head through the floor. She found that it was the only way for her to get his attention when he was so focused on that dang Pong game. “Your friend is trying to get your attention. Talk to him before he wakes up the whole neighborhood!”

Josuke pulled his head out of the floor and put down his controller, turning to look his excited friend in the eye, “What is it?” he asked Okuyasu. 

“Look at this,” Okuyasu showed Josuke the newspaper. “A new dance studio opened downtown for the summer! We should totally sign up, I’ve always wanted to learn how to pop and lock, jam and break! Plus, even though it’s only 1962 I’ve watched Dance Moms and the instructor is a total babe!”

“Really?” Josuke said, displaying proudly a forming tent in his pants as he thought about the graceful movement of Abby Lee Miller’s womanly figure. Tomoko had honestly expected him to laugh off Okuyasu’s idea, knowing full well you can't Boogie Woogie Oogie Wiggle Jiggle and Dance with a boner, but her son looked very excited. “When are they?” He paused, shifting his eyes to his mother hopefully, “More importantly... how much are they? And can I pay...” he eyed his huge boner, “with love?”

“Dude it says the first few lessons are free,” Okuyasu beamed at Josuke, knowing full well that Tomoko wouldn’t pay for them to catch the train to Boogie Wonderland. “They’re on weekends too dude so it won’t conflict with school or anything. If we want to sign up though we should go right now, before the spots fill up and shit.” 

“Ya dude let’s Autobot Roll Out,” Josuke said as he rushed to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror that hung above his sink, fluffing his hair with one hand while smoothing his eyebrows down with the other. Tomoko watched as the two boys frantically got ready, bursting with an excitement she had never seen before. 

“Wait, Josuke!” Okuyasu exclaimed suddenly. “It says that we need a parent or guardian to be with us if we are under 18.” He turned to Tomoko, looking hopefully in her direction. Josuke popped his head out of the bathroom and gave her the same pleading look. Tomoko rolled her eyes but agreed to go, placing her keys between her fingers before digging them into the drywall and dragging her hands as she walked down the hall.

 

Half an hour later Tomoko and the two boys were standing in front of a building with a sign reading “Abby Lee Dance Company.” Below it was a hastily painted sign reading ‘No Pussy Allowed!’. The boys hurried in excitedly muttering something about learning how to dougie and Tomoko followed. The receptionist inside told them that they’d have to sign up with Abby herself and pointed them through the double doors, carved in the perfect silhouette of the legendary Abby Lee herself, to the dance studio. 

They walked into a brightly lit room with all five walls except three walls and two more walls covered in large mirrors. There were children practicing their routines, all lyrical routines involving the same choreography Abby Lee uses EVERY time. A large woman with a harsh and somewhat alluring voice barked orders at them, and the heat in all three of their pants grew. Okuyasu was wearing a heating pad which explained that, but Josuke and Tomoko just wanted that puss puss.

 _That must be Abby_ , Tomoko thought, trying to swallow spit in a gulp but she choked because there was no spit to swallow because she was so horny and all the moisture had gone straight to her pussy. The woman looked up at them as they walked through the doors. 

“Hi, we’re here to sign up for the dance lessons you were offering in the paper!” Okuyasu said enthusiastically. Abby stood up and did The Hustle over to them. 

On the final count of eight as she turned and clapped she pulled forms out from bustier, almost like a magician but with huge tits. “Okay. Here are the forms you have to fill out. Be here on Saturdays at 9 a.m. sharp. If you’re late, you’re gone. Got it?” 

Abby and the boys talked for a little bit, and Tomoko took the time to examine this Abby. She was a bigger woman with dark brown hair that cascaded down her lovely lady lumps. She had an aura about her that demanded respect, and an ass that demanded disrespect. Tomoko thought that this sort of woman didn’t seem like your average dance instructor. 

It came time for Tomoko to sign off on both of the papers. As she signed she took a good sniff and basked in the alluring musk of Abby’s boobs. Abby looked at the forms and made a snorting sound as she read Okuyasu’s. 

“I see that you and he don’t have the same last name.” Abby said in an almost judging tone that rubbed Tomoko the wrong way. 

“Well I’m not actually his mom, well not yet. I’m in the middle of adopting him right now-” Tomoko started. 

“Well that sucks for him because we need the real parent to be here to sign off, so unless that head came out of ur poppin pussy b we can’t take him.”

“His entire family is literally dead!” Tomoko stated as she stepped closer to Abby, trying to show her she meant business. Okuyasu started to cry in the corner but nobody noticed.

“Too bad. No parents means no dance classes.” Abby said dismissively and started to turn away. 

“Like hell you won’t let my kids dance!” Tomoko yelled, and with that she grabbed the back of Abby’s shirt and yanked her back roughly. In the back of her mind, Tomoko wished she had ripped Abby’s shirt off.

Abby whirled around like a Beyblade, her face red with anger. Abby grabbed Tomoko’s still outstretched arm and used it to throw her across the room, like Will Stronghold did to the fire guy in Sky High right after he got his powers and he was protecting his geeky friends. I guess this is like a metaphor or a cinematic parallel where Abby is Will Stronghold and Tomoko is Warren Peace. Tomoko, luckily, had taken gymnastics when she was younger and managed to land on her feet. Abby was strong, that was for sure, but Tomoko was much faster than her, thanks to the latest invention of the golden 1940’s, heelys. 

Tomoko blew a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes and looked at her sons’ dumbstruck faces. Not that she cared. All she wanted to do was kick this woman’s ass and maybe … eat it?

“Bring it, big babe” Tomoko said.

The two women ran, or well one ran while one heelied, at each other, fists raised. Their clash was one on level with those the Olympians. For every powerful punch Abby threw, Tomoko delivered three weaker punches back. Abby threw Tomoko into one of the floor length mirrors across the room. Tomoko took some shards of glass and threw them at Abby like shurikens. When the other woman was stunned and also a little turned on, Tomoko charged at her and slammed her into another mirror. 

By then the Karma Police had shown up to give those girls their CumMuppets [comeuppance], it took four officers to subdue the two women. Tomoko kicked at Abby and Abby chomped in the direction of Tomoko with a snarl. Tomoko envisioned her clit between those two chompers. The two women were brought the the police station and placed in the one holding cell that was available.

The two women ignored each other for a while, both tending to their own wounds. The awkward silence between them stretched on.

“You pack one hell of a punch.” Abby said suddenly, in an almost admiring tone, before leaning over and licking Tomoko’s wounds like a feral dog showing submissiveness to a pack of wolves he met on a chance encounter. Tomoko was slightly turned on. Just kidding, she was so turned on there was practically a waterfall between her legs right now. I hate ivy

“Yeah, and I’ve only had one other woman slam me into a wall that hard before.” Tomoko replied, reminiscing on her fling with Queen Latifah in the winter of 1912. 

Abby sighed, “I shouldn’t have been so rude to your kids. It’s just that being mean to children is my kink and when I saw your gorgeous face I got so horny…. I’ll let your kids into my studio. Just as long as you come to every practice of theirs.” Abby winked seductively.

Tomoko felt her face get red at the compliment, and all she wanted to do was slam Abby’s face into the side of a car, but in a sexy way. Before Tomoko could start frenching Abby, Josuke and Okuyasu came up the the cell. 

“Mom! There you are. I just talked to one of the officers. They said they are letting you two out without any charges. Mostly because of granddad though. They said you two can’t fight like that ever again.” Josuke said. 

“It’s okay, Josuke. Abby and I worked it out. She said you and Okuyasu can come dance at her studio.” Tomoko looked back at Abby, who met her gaze. An officer was beginning the long process of unlocking the 25 handcuffs and chains that they had needed to keep Abby subdued. Tomoko sort of wanted Abby to keep them on. The two women shared a passionate moment together before Josuke coughed uncomfortably to break the sexual tension. 

“See you three next Saturday. 9 a.m. sharp.” Abby said seductively as they all walked out of the police station, a fat doobie hangin out of her mouth as she spoke.

 

Kira Yoshikage was busy knitting matching cat sweater-leotard hybrids for himself and Killer Queen when he heard a knock on his front door. He peeked out of the curtains warily after carefully marking where he left off (the pussy holes) on the sweater-leotard hybrids, wondering who could possibly be at his house, but he couldn’t make out who it was. 

He undid the 27 various locks on his door, 27 had a lot of significance to him…. Kurt Cobain was his idol ... and dismantled the artificial intelligence that came with his house like the Disney Channel classic Smart House featuring Ryan Merriman [Directed by Levar Burton] and opened it cautiously, the screams of his house dying in the background, only to see it was his estranged cousin from America, Kira Girard. He hadn’t seen her since the last family reunion in 1888, when he was seven years old. She had tan skin and dark brown hair, and Kira couldn’t help but notice the strong family resemblance. 

“Hi Yoshikage,” she said without waiting for him to greet her. “Can I cum ;) in?”

“Yes?” Kira said, holding his half-knit sweaters-leotard hybrids in front of him for protection. What in the world was she doing here?

“Oh come on don’t be like that,” she replied as she pushed her way past him and into his house. “Damn,” she said incredulously as she looked about his luxurious house. “Atom Heart F- I mean Uncle Yoshihiro must have left you quite the inheritance.” 

Kira didn’t reply. 

“Speaking of money… Kalani tore her Achilles tendon and can’t dance until she gets it fixed. I was hoping you could lend me some money for the surgery.

“No,” Kira said bluntly, rolling a fat doobie on the floor. All he wanted was to get back to his knitting.

“Come on Yoshikage! I even brought you this bottle of wine.” She smashed the wine bottle over the antique lamp sitting delicately on his mahogany desk, crimson liquid pooling as sparks traveled through the fluid and up into Kira’s veins. “Why don’t we bust this baby open and catch up? We don’t even need to talk about money right now.” She began to walk towards the kitchen until Kira put up his arm to stop her. He didn’t want her to see the hand that was on his kitchen table right now, half sticking out of a fleshlight also shaped like a hand.

“Fine,” he said quickly, wanting her to leave his house immediately. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll write you a check.” He shoved his cousin out of the house and quickly shut the door behind her. Her raven hair got stuck in the door as it shut, so he sniffed it.

 

The next day, Kira stood on the stoop of her cousin's house yet again. She couldn’t believe she was here again asking for money. It felt like she was swallowing her pride like a mouthful of cum, especially after how poorly yesterday’s visit had gone. 

She rang the doorbell and the Macarena played out in its entirety. She did the dance as she waited patiently, thinking that a doorbell as classy as this needed to be installed at her own house. She waited the full four minutes and eleven seconds it took for the song to finish, but there was no answer. She rang it again, still doing the dance, but nobody answered. She thought it was odd since Kira’s car was still here, sticking out of the side of the house where he crashed it. 

Kira was not the kind of woman who liked to be kept waiting, so she threw her body through one of the windows. As she brushed herself off, she took some bits of broken glass and started eating them to assert her dominance. Over who? Not even she really knew.

She could hear some noises coming from one of the back rooms and headed down the hallway. 

“Kira! It’s me, Kira. Your door was locked so I just let myself in,” she called as she opened the door to his bedroom. 

She stopped in her tracks as she surveyed the…. um…. hot... scene in front of her. Her cousin Kira was laying spread eagle on the bed, wearing nothing but a leather banana hammock that covered his huge boner. Over the bed was a sex swing and in it was a dismembered human hand dripping blood and holding another hand, which was holding another, and another, and so on. All together there was a chain of twelve hands leading down to Yoshikage Kira’s mouth from the above sex swing, the final one holding an unpeeled orange that Kira seemed to be eating as if it were an apple. Terrifying. Sitting in an armchair in the corner was a pink cat man reading the newspaper and looking like he had seen this shit every fucking day and was done with it, even though he had an erection as well. 

Kira (Girard) caught a glimpse of the newspaper the cat man was reading, it was dated as being from June 13, 1999, three hundred years in the future from the current date. 

“Oh heyyyyyy. What’s up?” Kira (Yoshikage) said as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. “I was just-”

“I get it. You were just having some kinky sex with the severed hand of some woman you found this morning at 10 am while you were picking up your drycleaning. You’re lucky that one woman had twelve hands attached to her body so you could make that waterfall” Kira (Girard) said condescendingly to her cousin. 

“Wow, uh, yeah. That was oddly specific. How did you-” He started. 

“Isn't it obvious?” She said as she gestured around the room. Killer Queen started to chuckle but covered it with a cough when Kira (Yoshikage) shot him a look. “Also, I did the exact same thing this morning, sooooo”

Kira (Girard) pulled out her own severed hand from her pocketbook and showed it to her cousin before placing it in her pussy where she held it up using the strength she gained from her kegel classes. His boner got twice as hard. 

“What? You thought you were the only one in the family to have a thing for severed hands? It’s in our blood.” Kira (Girard) explained to a dumbstruck Kira (Yoshikage). 

“Well in that case, I guess I can lend you some money.” He looked in Killer Queen’s direction and the cat man sighed and put down his newspaper. It opened up the closet and started putting in the combination to the safe that was hidden there behind all the cumsoaked fursuits. 

“He’s the one that handles the money.” Kira (Yoshikage) said to his cousin, trying to make small talk since KQ couldn’t read and was taking a while. Kira (Girard) nodded in response and Kira (Yoshikage) thought for a moment before he said, “Wait, you can see my stand??” 

Kira (Girard) sighed. “Honestly, my dude? The real reason I came here wasn’t to get money for Kalani’s ankle-”

“Oh so you don’t want the money?” Kira (Yoshikage) asked.

“Bitch? You better gimme that money.” Kira said with a threatening look on her face.  
“Anyway, The real reason I came here was because I want to kill that bitch Abby Lee Miller. She’s yelled at me toppless one too many times, and I want her head on a fucking platter. And I’m going to kill her with this ability I got on my trip to Egypt last year.”

Kira (Girard) took out her stand: Death on Two Legs. It was a giant hand with two legs, both Kira’s nutted at the sight.

“My stand can steal the stand of any other stand user close to me for 10 seconds.” Kira (Girard) boasted to her cousin. “But I’ll need your help to do it.”

“Wait, do you mean the Abby Lee Miller who just opened a dance studio downtown? She’s a total thotty. I’m in.”

The two Kiras smiled at each other and got to work on their plan to kill Abby Lee once and for all.

Josuke and Okuyasu were in the studio breakdancing, an upcoming form of dance in which the dancer dislocates every body part from its joint and lays on the floor screaming in agony. Okuyasu really had a knack for it. Tomoko sat on the edge of her seat to sedate the burning desire growing within her as Abby Lee berated her sons.

Just then, a man crashed through one of the twelve mirror walls that lined the room. He was old as shit and swinging on some purple vines like Tarzan (but only Disney’s Tarzan cuz that live action movie was shit; not the George of the Jungle movie bc he was a fuckking daddy, there was actually a live action Tarzan movie called the Legend of Tarzan). It was Old Joseph. Normally, Tomoko would have ripped her clothes off right there and had sex with the guy, but compared to Abby Lee, he was pretty average. 

Josuke quickly fixed Okuyasu’s severely broken body with Crazy Diamond and joined his mom and Abby Lee. The two women were standing very close and Josuke noticed they were rubbing up on each other, only Tomoko was wearing her trademark boots with spikes on the toes so Abby’s leg was bleeding profusely. 

“Oh guys btw...DIO’s back.” Old Joseph said nonchalantly. Tomoko and Abby Lee looked at each other in confusion, but Josuke and Okuyasu seemed worried. 

“Shit. We’ll need to find some new stand users now, since Jotaro and Koichi are on their honeymoon and Rohan tagged along of course,” Josuke said.

“Here Josuke. I have the arrow right here,” Okuyasu said as he pulled it out of his dickhole. “I’ve been using it to sound myself for weeks, the exhilarating pain of storing it in my urethra pumps my adrenaline and greatly improves my groovy boogie. We can just turn Abby Lee and your mom into stand users.” Apparently Okuyasu was born in 1975. And so was Ivy because she’s really a 85 year old trapped in a 18 year old’s body.

“Well I was sort of hoping we could just find some other-” Josuke started. But it was too late; Okuyasu had already cheerfully plunged the arrow into both women’s … hearts ;) . 

The two women fell to the ground and writhed in pain, so close to pleasure. They caught each other’s eyes through the streams of blood that were spurting everywhere. 

“Abby…” Tomoko said between labored breaths. 

Abby knew what Tomoko wanted and pulled the other woman towards her. They started making out really sloppily. They also kept banging their teeth together on purpose, their hunger not satiated by the mere meeting of tongues. 

“I want my last moments to be sandwiched between your two titties.” Tomoko said from between Abby Lee’s titties. Tomoko breathed hard against Abby’s smooth flesh, the skin creating a barrier that Tomoko wished she could break by digging her teeth through the spongy layers. 

The two women stood up and realized that they weren’t dying anymore. Josuke had fixed both of them with Crazy Diamond a while ago but they didn’t notice. 

Standing in front of them were two stands. Abby’s looked like a puppet with huge ass titties (titties on the ass, just to clarify) and Tomoko’s was like a lean beefcake but also looked exactly like a SmurfTM. Abby’s stand, called Let’s Dance, could make two people follow her movements for 30 seconds. Tomoko’s stand, called Under Pressure, could punch with the speed of Crazy Diamond, but each punch also drained the energy of the person being punched and transfer the energy to Tomoko’s Bussy.

“Well that was something,” Tomoko said, trying to make everyone forget about that display. She could still taste Abby’s delicious, meaty lips on hers. Abby’s lips tasted like barbecue sauce and cornbread. Tomoko salivated at the memory, imagining Abby’s southern lips tasting of and looking similar to roast beef.

 

“Anyways, now you guys can use your stands to fight DIO.” Josuke said to his mother, also wanting to forget about what he just saw. He looked over and saw that Okuyasu had a boner. He glanced down and saw that he also had a boner. 

“Well what does the piece of shit look like?!” Abby said as she aggressively clapped in Josuke’s face. His pants got so fucking tight as he got even harder. Josuke looked towards Old Joseph, hoping he would explain, but the old fart was ignoring everybody and jacking off to the cooking channel. Barefoot Contessa really got his rocks hard. 

“Okay, well he’s not going to be any help,” Josuke said defeatedly. “I remember he said something about DIO being blonde and creepy looking. So I guess just go look for weird blonde dudes???”

The group decided to split up. Josuke and Okuyasu would search around the ice cream store while Tomoko and Abby would search in the park. Old Joseph would stay there and continue beating his meat to Barefoot Contessa’s glistening, oily breasts as she continued marinating her supple flesh on air.

Tomoko and Abby had been walking through the park for a while now, and they hadn’t found any weird blonde fuckers as of yet. Granted, neither of them had been looking very hard since every so often Abby would take Tomoko and slam her against a tree and the two would make out and dry hump for a little while. 

Finally Tomoko pushed Abby away after a particularly hot and heavy makeout session that had felled two trees and terrified some unsuspecting children. 

“Abby, wait,” Tomoko said as she tried to catch her breath. “We need to talk about us. I wanted to tell you that I can’t make a full commitment because I have two children. I hope you understand. I really want to be with you, but Josuke and Okuyasu come first.”

“Babe, I understand completely,” Abby Lee said in that husky voice that drove Tomoko wild. “I have more than thirty children back home in the States. Well, they aren’t really my children and I really only like 3 of them, but still, I understand. My kids and their dance competitions come first.“

“Well, I guess we can see each other for now, as long as we agree that our kids come first,” Tomoko said happily.

The two women skipped down the path hand in hand and as happy as could be. Each time Abby landed it made a crater in the ground and Tomoko wetter and wetter. 

This complete utter bliss didn’t last for very long, though. The two women spotted a blonde man eating a fat swollen pussy throbbing in the summer heat. Not a woman’s pussy, a cat ….. Shut up haley let me live leave this in the fic too i feel like i live in a military state haley wakes me up at 7am every morning and if im not home by 830pm she whips me into sleep and injects my veins with magma molten lava please help me this is hell im in hell please help me she deletes all my work i have no creative freedom she even edited this sentence she cant let me do anything im afraid i had to fight tooth and nail to put in my drywall key segment. ANYWAY the man was gently peeling a Babybel cheese. Only he threw the cheese part away and started playing with the wax. Then he started taking a bite out of it. He shut his eyes, a tingle flying through his body as his tongue traced the wax, reminiscent of the dying tissue commonly found on the surface of his dates. Definitely a creepy blonde dude.

“That must be that DIO guy!” Abby whispered to Tomoko.

“Are you sure? It looks like Glenn Beck to me… It might not be him…..Wait, look! He has a stand! That has to be DIO!” Tomoko exclaimed, “That pussy coward Glenn Beck would never have a stand ! Let alone a hot cat stand!”

They watched as the creepy blonde man, who is not Glenn Beck, started regurgitating the Babybel wax into the mouth of a stand that looked like a really sexy cat. He was like a mother bird feeding his young.

“We should make a plan of attack, right Abby? Abby?” Tomoko said, but Abby didn’t reply. Tomoko spotted Abby dashing towards the tree “DIO” was under, Let’s Dance already out, its large puppet butt-tits flapping in the wind. Tomoko was briefly stunned by the lithe form of Abby’s graceful body as she ran with all the power, beauty, and spice of Chester Cheetah. 

“CALL MATTY B~”Abby shouted as she reached the tree and went for a neck punch, holding out the B for a reallyyyyyyyyy long time. Her stand cry alerted the man to her attack, and his astonished face turned to her, but it was too late, Abby’s attack was too fast. Or… it had seemed that way, until another hand darted out from behind the tree and caught Abby’s wrist before it connected with “DIO’s” face. 

Abby gasped when she saw who had blocked her attack. It was one of her Dance Moms, Kira Girard. 

“Hey, cuz, look at this hand,” She said to the man. “Isn’t it so pretty? We should add it to our collection.” The two of them looked at one another and laughed for five straight minutes.

“That is the fugliest hand I’ve ever seen in my whole life!” Kira (Yoshikage)/”DIO” said as he wiped tears out of his eyes. 

“WHAT? That is the sexiest hand in the world!” Tomoko screeched as she began to heely towards the tree. 

But before she could make it there, Kira used Killer Queen to blow it up. Abby fell to the ground in pain, writhing amists the chunks of her exploded hand. Tomoko dashed to her side and cradled her one true love’s head in her arms. 

“OwO what’s this Abby? Are you sleeping with someone you’re not even married to?” Kira (Girard) said mockingly. She laughed and continued, “Gay marriage is illegal in Japan. What is this little housewife gonna do to help you, Abby?”

“Don’t underestimate me, bitch!” Tomoko yelled. And just to show Kira she meant business, she started eating the remaining chunks of Abby’s hand. When she finished, she smiled menacingly at Kira, her mouth dripping blood, ligaments caught between her teeth. 

“Holy shit!” Kira Girard gasped. Her pants had gotten so wet at the display that the hand she was holding with her pussy slipped out, despite all of her kegel classes. 

“CALL MATTY B~” Came a cry from behind Tomoko. She whipped her head around and saw Abby standing there with Let’s Dance out. Both Kiras froze in place, unable to move, as Let’s Dance had taken control of their movements. 

Abby ran towards the busy road that ran along the length of the park, both Kiras and Tomoko followed her. Abby forced both of the Kiras to run out into moving traffic. They were both plowed down by a passing ambulance. 

“ABBY! We did it we killed DIO! And that woman who you knew who was working with him for some reason.” Tomoko yelled as she watched the bloody scene in front of her. 

The two women embraced, and failed to notice the ambulance slowly rising off the ground behind them. 

“KILLER QUEEN!” a voice shouted from under it. 

You see dear reader, Kira Yoshikage died the instant the ambulance ran over his skull. But Kira Girard had survived with only a few broken bones, and Kira’s pain only fueled her rage at Abby. Kira used her sick ass muscles (not her pussy muscles sadly just her arm ones) to deadlift the entire ambulance. She stood with it raised over her head like Will Stronghold (from Sky High) does when he first gets his powers [for more information see page 3 of the google docs]. Next to her was her stand, Death on Two Legs, holding Killer Queen captive. The cat man was crying softly. 

“What!!” Both Tomoko and Abby yelled in unison. 

“I stole my cousin’s stand right before he died, you mediocre dunces!” Kira yelled maniacally. 

Abby knew that Kira was planning on exploding the bomb right in front of them, killing both herself and Abby in the process. Abby pushed Tomoko away, but not before copping one last feel of Tomoko’s boobs. She closed her eyes and accepted her fate, happy as long as her lover would still live. 

“DORARARARARA!!!” 

Abby’s eyes flew open at the sound. She let out a gasp when she saw who had let out the cry. It was Tomoko.

Tomoko had ran up to Kira and was punching her with Under Pressure. Each punch drained a little bit of Kira’s energy and it became harder and harder for the woman to hold the ambulance up. Finally, Kira’s sick muscles (mainly the pussy ones) gave out and she too was crushed by the ambulance. 

“Eat shit, meathead,” Tomoko said, high fiving herself in the process. 

She spun around on her heel and ran towards the open arms of the massive woman who kept her up at night as she danced through her daydreams. Before her supple young skin could meet the soft saggy busom of Abby Lee, however, a hand met with her shoulder, slamming her onto green grass below. The next thing she knew, she was in the direct line of fire of a yoga-pant clad pussy.

Abby’s jump split was so powerful that the extra strength diaper hidden beneath the yoga pants, as well as the double seam yoga pants themselves, split in two, revealing her bald, shiny, greasy pussy from beneath. It was clear to Tomoko that Abby was a shaver, as a few stray hairs remained on the upper pubic area, in the crevice between the pussy lips, as well as the area, known as the taint, between her vaginal opening and her asshole. She didn’t care though, the rough chickeny texture of her pussy lips sent Tomoko into a state of bliss, and all she could think of was getting enough pussy slurp to fill her hungry tummy. 

Tomoko’s teeth had been damaged upon the initial impact of Abby’s cunt to her face, but the incessant grinding down of Abby’s voluptuous figure on her frail skull eventually worked the teeth free from their roots. The residue of Abby’s hand still lingered on Tomoko’s teeth as they made their way out of her mouth and up Abby’s bittersweet pussy, mixing with the blood seeping from Tomoko’s raw, aching gums. 

The thought of this process made Tomoko squirm, heat rising from her neglected nether-region, as a moan slipped from her mouth, making a fart noise against Abby’s pussy lips lol. Im in a prison pplease help me i m being held capitve i need ot pee so bad and haleywont let me get surgeryto put a clown nose on i want it so bad i thnk the cost of glue wuld heavily outweight the cost of surgery if i do it every single day for the rest of my life and i live tobe at least 60 plus my psychic said im gonnalivewel into my 100s so its gonnabe like double of that and i cnat jsut wear the same clown nose every dya im ongna have to replace that too or else itll get all boogery and brown ont he outside which is the opposite of the point becausei just want a big shiny red clown nose like ieve always dreamed of why does noone care what i want … Abby, being the caring and attentive lover that she is, noticed the moaning her grinding was soliciting from her lover, and arched her back into a backbend so her face would reach Tomoko’s pussy and begin to lap at the lavish juices that flowed so freely from her Pink Pearl that they soaked through the khaki capris Tomoko was wearing.  
Abby’s stray FUPA hair, now caked with blood as Tomoko raked her fingernails into the soft flesh as she rambunctiously ate her out, tickled Tomoko’s nose, causing her to sneeze into Abby’s lovely pussy. Tomoko was not deterred, sucking the snot into her mouth and savoring the taste as she pressed it up into her gums.

Abby looked down at Tomoko lovingly. “We good?” She asked.

“We’re good”. Tomoko replied. 

Abby sensually rolled off of Tomoko and helped her to her feet. The two women quickly brushed the dirt off of their clothes and stood there for a bit, both unsure of what to do. Tomoko coughed uncomfortably, some blood spraying out across Abby’s face as she did. The two women ended their encounter with a business casual handshake. 

“Good game.” They both said, smiling.  
“We should probably call Josuke to heal us now. And to confirm that we killed DIO.” Tomoko said breathlessly, still exhausted from her passionate lovemaking.

Twenty minutes later, Josuke, Okuyasu, Joseph, and for some reason Tonio were in the park, surveying the bloody scene. Josuke had a little bit of ice cream on his face still and Okuyasu was completely coated from head to toe in pistachio ice cream because he is a messy boy. Tomoko had seen him eat ice cream before and the boy wilded out every damn time he was near the stuff. Frankly, it was embarrassing and Tomoko could never bring him out for ice cream any more. Apparently Josuke liked it though because his boner was so big now that it had ripped through his pants. 

“Hey mom, You and Abby look really bad, let me heal you.” Josuke said as he took out Crazy Diamond. The two women walked toward him and willingly got punched in the gut. Abby let out a little moan of pleasure but smoothly covered it up with a cough.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Josuke said, horrified as he watched as bits of hand meat come out of his mother’s mouth while teeth also came out of Abby’s pussy and flew back into Tomoko’s mouth. Tomoko shrugged.

“It was one hell of a fight. You take out DIO next time and we’ll judge your fighting style.” Abby said defensively. Then she chest bumped Josuke and he flew back into a tree.

“Damn shawty okay.” Josuke said as he painfully pulled himself back to his feet. At least 13 of his bones were broken now.

“I have some bad news for you, This isn’t DIO.” Joseph chimed in, completely unaware of anything happening around him. Instead, he was poking the dead bodies lying in the road with a stick. 

“What? Really?” Said everyone in unison, though Tonio said it with a spicy Italian flair.

“Yeah, this isn’t DIO. I think you just killed some random blonde guy.” Joseph said.

“Ehhh well, he seemed pretty creepy anyway so…” Tomoko said and shrugged again.

“His cousin was trying to kill me too so fuck him.” Abby said as she lit a fat blunt and started tokin’ up. Everyone nodded in agreement but also respect. 

“Shit this means we still have to find DIO,” Josuke said “Aight let’s autobot roll out and go find D-”

Josuke’s sentence was cut off by wailing sirens as two police cars pulled up on the curb in front of them and screeched to a halt. Four officers scrambled out of the cars with their guns drawn and pointed them all at Abby. 

Everybody froze in place as the officers and Abby had a staredown for like 50 minutes. Finally, one of the officers broke the silence.

“Aight so I got some hamburger helper on the stove right now so let's make this quick, kween. You know what you did, just get in the car.”

“Man fuck that.” Abby said and began to charge at the officers like a wildebeest but sexier. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed a little red dot appear on her shoulder and move up to her forehead.

“Our informant warned us how dangerous you are, so we came prepared.” The officer said smugly. “Your money laundering days are over, Abby Lee.” 

“Oh shit, this is just for money laundering? Eh well fuck it let's go boys.” Abby said as she got into the passenger seat of one of the cop cars and put her feet up on the dash. 

“Abby no!” said the officer as he sprayed her with a spray bottle.

Before Tomoko could say anything the police cars were already on the move and Abby was long gone.

“Mom, do you really think she is a criminal?” Okuyasu said innocently.

“Abby is a murderer and a cannibal and a sweet sweet lover, but she would NEVER launder any money. This has to be a set up.” Tomoko said.

“I don’t know mom, maybe you should just let her go. There are always other fish in the sea.” Josuke said as he took the hands of Okuyasu, Joseph, and Tonio (you might think Josuke has three hands but Okuyasu was holding onto his dick) and started to leave.

“Abby’s no fish, she’s a whale.” Tomoko replied as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Epilouge:

“Thank you again for your tip about Abby Lee.” said Officer Ryohei Higashikata. He had faked his death a few months ago because he couldn’t stand (HAHA GET IT) living with his shitty daugter and grandson anymore. He was now working deep undercover as an Interpol agent under the name Cory InTheHouse. 

“No prob, Bob.” said a mysterious man cloaked in shadows in the corner of the room like an emo little bitch.

“Man, stop with this nonsense.” Cory said as he shined his desk lamp into the corner. Standing there was a dark skinned man dressed like DIO, but his cosplay was pretty cheaply made so he didn’t really look that much like him. 

“Sorry Officer InTheHouse. Thank you for bringing her to justice, I’m glad I could help.” Enrico Pucci in his DIO cosplay said.

“Of course, that woman is a menace to society. I wanted to inform you that she was sent back to Green Dolphin State Prison back in the States and is serving 13 consecutive life sentences. Money laundering is a serious issue.”

“Excellent.” Pucci dressed as DIO said, as though he had a plan in store for our favorite heroine. 

“Oh, and Tomoko is already in the States working to free her. My daughter has always chased them thicc thots” Officer InTheHouse continued but Pucci dressed as DIO had stopped listening. The pieces of his plan had fallen into place and he was ready for Phase Two.

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta give some credit to David for this garbage


End file.
